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How Do You Do It All?

Interview with Reverend Jeanne Mayo

Jeanne Mayo has worn many hats over the last three decades. She was youth pastor to a youth group of one thousand students in Rockford, Illinois, and currently is youth pastor at The Tabernacle in Atlanta, Georgia where her husband, Sam, is senior pastor. She is also a mom to two adult sons, a former Christian school superintendent and a dynamic, highly sought-after speaker. Jeanne shares with younger woman ministers practical advice to manage the many hats on their hat rack.

WIM: Jeanne, how do you do it all—mom, wife and minister?

MAYO: It’s all about the principle of trade offs. Though simple, it’s still profound, particularly when you’re married with children. During that busy season, you can’t add new activities without first asking, “What will I remove from my schedule?” If you don’t calculate the trade offs, the most precious things in your life will get the short end of the deal. You simply cannot add to your life without first subtracting.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I determined to be a great mom and also a minister. I chose to travel less. Twenty-three years with kids in the house—I chose to travel only two days a month. Even if the President called, the answer was no if my schedule was full.

WIM: What can younger woman ministers anticipate, particularly those who are married with children like you?

MAYO: As a minister who is also a mother, anticipate the occasional “blues.” The baby has been up all night and you’re exhausted. You feel you’re everything but Lillian Trasher or Joan of Arc. I wish someone had told me it would be open season for spiritual mind games with thoughts such as, “I’m not a woman of God.”

Remember as well that there are seasons in the lives of your kids. At times, my husband or children needed more from me. I passed up the opportunity to speak at some youth conventions because my sons were in varsity soccer.

Mother in such a way that you can look back and not have to say, “I wish I had spent more time with my kids.” No one ever says, “I wish I had had a bigger ministry” when they pass from this life into eternity.

My oldest son Josh recently gave me an “honorary doctorate.” He said, “Thank you for being my mom my whole life. Others have major titles. Yours may not be in theology, but rather a doctorate in motherhood.”

WIM: What can knock us out of balance?

MAYO: We girls want to please. We have the “disease to please.” We want to jump through hoops to please people. Your focus can distract you. Logically, some people and projects shouldn’t get so much of our time.

WIM: So what do we do when we get knocked out of balance?

MAYO: Those who know me know that I’m a health nut! Do simple things to take care of yourself—take vitamins, exercise, sleep. B-complex vitamins (the stress and energy vitamins) are just my best friends!

WIM: Speak to us about priorities.

MAYO: Twenty percent of what you do creates 80 percent of your results. So ask yourself, “What are the main priorities?Where’s the day going?” At one point, I chronicled every half hour which was tedious, but I needed to know, “What eats away at my day?” As ministers, we can be strategic about everything but time management.

For years, when I was youth pastor of 1,000 young people, superintendent of a Christian school, mom of two small kids, and a wife; I would take a day every six months to get quiet before God, analyze my time and tweak my schedule. Did you know an airplane is continually going off course and constantly readjusts to get back on course? Women have to keep re-tweaking because life changes. Ask every six months, “How am I doing?”

Again, the principle of trade offs comes into play. When the schedule is out of control, something has got to go. The non negotiables are time with Jesus, my husband and the kids. You will have to make brutal choices throughout the years. Make choices before negative consequences surface. Choosing not to choose is to choose.

WIM: Please tell us about a difficult choice in your life.

MAYO: A number of years ago, I was asked to speak at General Council. I would have been the first woman to speak at an evening service. I came down with heart trouble (although the physical challenges are over now) and had to make one of the hardest choices of my life in stepping away from that opportunity. I felt like a little girl who got a run at the Olympics but had to pass. Some may think I’m pollyanna, but I choose to find rainbows in the middle of the storm. I said, “Lord, my reputation is yours; just take care of my health.”

WIM: Any final words of wisdom for those of us trying to balance it all?

MAYO: Make decisions that will be effective and beneficial for the long haul. American women are living into their 80s which means longer life spans and ministry spans. Someone once said, “If I had known I was going to live this long, I would’ve taken better care of myself.” My spiritual “mom”—the 90-year-old pastor’s wife at the church I was saved in— still exercises, drives and teaches adult Sunday school class. She recently drove around town shopping three days for my birthday gift! I tell her, “You are who I want to be when I grow up.”

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