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Accompaniment
By Juli Nelson
Julie Nelson serves in two part-time ministry positions: as pastor of First Christian Church, Clever, Missouri, and associate pastor of educational development at Evangel Temple Christian Center in Springfield, Missouri.
Say the word accompaniment and you think music—someone backing up a soloist. However, the word may be just as applicable to walking alongside those who suffer, helping them carry their load.
I was standing at the back of the sanctuary, greeting people as they left the morning service. The woman leaned close to my ear and said quietly, “I’m having surgery at 7 a.m. on Tuesday.”
“I’ll be there,” I replied.
“Oh, Pastor, you don’t have to be there. It’s early and I know you’re busy. I just wanted you to know about it.”
“If it’s at all possible, I’ll be there,” I said.
Why did I make that promise and make every effort to fulfill it? Is it because I love early morning commitments? No. Is it because I love hospitals? No. Is it because I think I’m indispensable? No. Is it because I have nothing better to do? Yes, but that is only because of what I believe theologically. I believe in the God who can and does work sovereignly. But I believe that God is made visible when we show up, bringing our flawed but Spirit-infused selves to the sufferer.
Jesus didn’t just talk about God in the synagogue. Jesus went out where the people were suffering and ministered to them there. He accompanied them.
Because of what I believe theologically, I would recommend the following three ways to accompany suffering people:
Be there physically. One of the pastors I have worked with puts it this way: “People will forget everything you say. But they will not forget that you were with them.”
That conviction was echoed by a couple whom I heard speak recently. They lost both of their children—teenage daughters—in a tragic car accident. Months later, several people said to them, “We wanted to visit you after the accident, but we just didn’t know what to say.”
The mother replied, “You didn’t have to say anything.”
That couple said they didn’t remember anything that people said those first few weeks after the accident. They were in shock. They only remembered that people showed up, and that was experienced as God’s love.
Job’s “friends” said too much (and the wrong things) when they sat with him in his suffering. You don’t have to have all the right words to say. In fact, sometimes words get in the way. Whatis necessary is to show up. Accompany them with your presence.
Be there with tangible expressions of concern. Sometimes, of course, you can’t physically be present with those who suffer, or you can’t be with them as long as you might wish. Then “be there” with some tangible expression of your concern: a phone call, a note, an e-mail, flowers, a book, CD, or some other small gift. Accompany them with symbols of your concern.
Be there in prayer. Hold them in your prayers. If you continue to pray for those who suffer, they will be on your mind, and you will find other ways to respond to their need. God is amazingly creative, and He may direct your prayers in a particular way. God may also give you ideas of how to reach out in a specific, practical way. Accompany them with prayer.
The word accompaniment is not the exclusive domain of music. It may also be one of the best ways to minister to those who suffer. Jesus did it, and it is one of the reasons that we find His verbal proclamations of God’s love to be convincing.
Accompaniment. Try it, and see if God doesn’t show up in credible and restorative ways for the suffering ones whom you accompany.