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Four Principles for the Successful Husband-Wife Team

By Sam Mayo
Sam Mayo is senior pastor of Assembly of God Tabernacle in Decatur, Georgia.

1. Two cannot walk together unless they agree.

Husband-wife ministry teams must be in agreement that both men and women can be used of God in almost every type of ministry. The root issue in most anti-women-in-ministry debates is more an issue of personality and style than theology. For effective ministry, both husband and wife must be in agreement that God can use both sexes as He chooses.

The ministry couple must agree on their biblical priorities and be committed to govern their daily lives by these priorities. Failure to live by this principle will shut many ministry doors and eventually destroy the home. Their relationship with the Lord must come first; then their relationship to each other and their family; their ministry to the church and others comes third. Day-to-day priorities and choices must be pragmatic and consistent.

The ministry couple must agree that spiritual gifts are given by God, and when properly used, those gifts will benefit everyone. The Book of Proverbs clearly says, “A man’s gift makes room for him” (18:16, NKJV). That’s also true of a woman’s gifts. The ministry couple rejoices together in the great things God can do when a person will simply use what He has given for His glory.

2. Define and respect agreed-upon boundaries.

The husband-wife unit must set boundaries in the same way all other staff knows what their job descriptions are in the ministry team. Through the years I have learned to release my wife to do what she’s anointed to accomplish. She’s not my possession — she belongs to God. Although I provide direction and accountability to all the ministries of the church, I release all my staff, including my wife, to do what they are anointed to do.

3. Any woman who desires to minister with her husband must set priorities.

By setting priorities, a wife must remain a lady and lead without usurping authority. As I commented earlier, many ministry couples have conflicts due to personality more than theology.

By respecting boundaries, a woman’s ministry will be respected, and her husband will not feel threatened. My wife counsels women in the ministry against being what she calls spiritual women’s libbers – women in ministry who seem to wear an invisible chip on their shoulders and whose aggression and pushiness instinctively cause men to be resentful.

4. Time-outs and halftimes are necessary.

Times for recharging batteries and making game plan changes are a must. Times away from ministry are equally as important as the public ministry.

Enrichment Journal, Spring 1997.

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