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Go Stand on the Mountain

By Rev. Julie Sarnowski

When I graduated from seminary and felt ready for full-time ministry, I saw myself as a worthy candidate: Well educated, passionate for ministry, and called by God. Yet that “perfect ministry position” did not open up. I interviewed in my beloved home state, and the church even offered me a position that met all my qualifications, but God did not release me. I interviewed elsewhere and thought very highly of the positions and churches, but God did not release me. It seemed my expectations, God’s will, and church boards just couldn’t agree.

I felt so discouraged and questioned the way I hear and interpret God’s will for my life, even my calling. While I felt ready — like I knew everything I needed to know — and that God wanted me somewhere, God still had more lessons to teach me. I needed to learn how to wait on the Lord, how to rest in seasons of anonymity, and how to simply be myself without the stresses of seminary or ministry. I cannot imagine going into ministry without learning these lessons. I look back and wonder if getting passed over for a job — later filled by a married, older, male minister — was not God’s way of telling me that I was inadequate, but God’s way of telling me to wait.

God directed me to one of my favorite passages in the Old Testament:

The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave (1 Kings 19:11-13, NIV).

Sometimes that perfect ministry position doesn’t look exactly like what we expected, just as God revealed himself to Elijah in a way the prophet did not expect. But like Elijah, I needed to stand on the side of my mountain and watch as mountains shook, earthquakes rumbled, and fires burned in order to finally hear that gentle whisper.

While I originally felt so discouraged and begrudged the “wasted time” between seminary and getting hired as a full-time youth pastor, I now look back and thank God for that season of waiting on Him, watching His power, and finally experiencing His setting for my calling. Had He granted my original requests, I would have missed out on these precious lessons. God had to force me to go out and stand on the mountain to wait for Him to pass by. I am so glad He did.

 

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