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When The Teeter-Totter Crashes:
Finding Equilibrium In Life And Ministry

By Jennifer Gale

On a cold, rainy day in October, I sat in a flimsy examination gown waiting for the doctor to proscribe the cure for a most annoying malady. A small, itchy rash had slowly spread across my limbs and traveled to the places where it is not polite to scratch in public. Since there is nothing like the motivation of embarrassment, I made the long-overdue appointment with the dermatologist.

When the doctor pronounced his diagnosis, I was in disbelief. “Eczema?” I said. “But I haven’t had that since I was a little kid.” My mother told me stories of long, sleepless nights with a scratching, crying toddler, but I certainly didn’t remember them.

“Well,” he said, “It never fully goes away. It can come back.”

“What on earth would cause it to come back now?” I asked. Had I eaten something? Had I become allergic to a soap or spray? While he went on, I tried to think of any changes I had made in my diet or skin care.

“The primary reason an adult breaks out in eczema is stress. You haven’t been under a great amount of stress lately, have you?”

Stress!

Oh, brother! Which one of us who has answered the call to ministry has not made reluctant friends with stress? Life is full. Mother of two toddlers. Wife. Full-time associate pastor with 10 ministries, 10 budgets, 10 leadership teams to support. Newcomer and hospital visitation. All-church events organizer. Pulpit and staff duty on occasion—and I’m not even “senior” pastor (you ladies amaze me)! Personal obligations. Friendships and family relationships to maintain. Did he say “stress?” Oh, yes—most of us are intimately familiar with the term.

But on this day in October, I sat in the doctor’s office with the itchy evidence of persistent, and yes, ungodly stress. To tell you the truth, I was angry, really angry, and deeply disappointed. I could justify every commitment—every one! And yet, my heart broke as I realized that somewhere, somehow, I had crossed the line between what God was really asking me to do, and what I decided I would do. The scary thing was, I had no idea when. My heart told me it was a long time ago. How could a pastor, a minister who loved the Lord, miss it so badly?

Finding Equilibrium

Equilibrium. I like the word much better than balance. Balance implies a tentative, precarious state easily upset by the slightest wind of change. (Imagine yourself standing in the middle of a teeter-totter. Maintaining balance for any length of time would be exhausting!) Equilibrium, on the other hand, invokes an existence, a state in which we can live.

We speak of equilibrium in reference to physiology. Cells of an organism are in equilibrium. For example, when the amount of water and salt inside the cell are roughly equal to the amount of water and salt outside the cell, the cell is said to be in a state of equilibrium. Should the dynamics change, the cell simply absorbs or releases whatever is needed to once again achieve equilibrium. No stress, no task forces, no Herculean schedule changes. These smooth, simple, and completely natural shifts allow the body to respond to the changes and stresses bombarding it countless times each day.

Life on the Teeter-Totter

I think we’re all familiar with the teeter-totter. “How do you balance it all?” our friends ask us. And truth be told, we have no idea outside of God’s amazing grace! We manage the slow drain of simply balancing the day-to-day affairs of life and ministry, and occasionally crash when unexpected weight drops on one end (birth of a child, illness, death of a loved one, crisis in the church, conflict, travel, new responsibilities, transition, and the list goes on).

There can be great satisfaction (pride?) in maintaining balance on the teeter-totter, but we can’t live on that precarious plank. The weary soul longs for the peaceful, God-centered calm of equilibrium, the “life that is truly life” that Jesus came to give. Do you long for it? I do. After all, we who study the Scriptures know better than most the joy and peace that is possible for those who follow the Lord. So, then, why don’t we have it? Consider these words of Thomas Kelly:

Much of our acceptance of the multitudes of obligations is due to our inability to say no. We calculated that that task had to be done, and saw no one ready to undertake it. We calculated the need, and then calculated our time, and decided maybe we could squeeze it in somewhere. But the decision was a heady decision, not made within the sanctuary of the soul. When we say yes or no to calls for service on the basis of heady decisions, we have to give reasons, to ourselves and to others. But when we say yes or no to calls on the basis of inner guidance and whispered promptings of encouragement from the Center of our life—we have no reason to give except one—the will of God as we discern it. Then we have begun to live in guidance. And I find He never guides us into an intolerable scramble of panting feverishness.

Getting Off the Teeter-Totter

Can you or I say yes or no with the amen of the Lord behind us? For some of us, no is the hardest word to say! We sense the closed door of opportunity, or even feel the guilt of a good work left undone. Others of us are experts at calculating time, energy, and resources, but fail to count God in the equation. This was my critical error that October. Somewhere along the line, God was relegated to the “big” things in ministry—special speakers, all-church events, outreach programs—and left out of the “little” things—writing letters, scheduling lunches, making phone calls. Multiplied over and over, day upon day, those little things take on a weight of their own.

Other things contribute to our prolonged ride on the teeter-totter. Each stage of life means adjusting and shifting activities and priorities. Ministry has stages, too. Those who understand the lifecycle of a leader in ministry have noted that one of the critical shifts we must make is from “doing things right” to “doing the right things right” (emphasis mine).[1]What are the “right things?” Simply that which God asks us to do. No more and no less. Over the past year I’ve finally begun to understand that I’ll never discern what those “right things” are, big or small, unless I hear from God Himself. Directly. Specifically.

Equilibrium=Rest

Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary, and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” We all know that the life to which Jesus calls is challenging and full of trials, yet He says He will shoulder the burden with us, walk beside us, and give us rest. That rest in the midst of toil and labor is the equilibrium you and I long for. It is the equilibrium God’s people need.

Dear sister in ministry, I hope you’ve found the secret of that equilibrium. May you already know the blessing of saying the yes and no of God, and living the life of ministry that is truly life!

I’m not there yet. I want to get off the teeter-totter, but I fear it will be a slow descent. Pride and old habits want to keep me there. My calendar is weighty, and not to be dropped lightly. I still blur the line between what God asks me to do and what I decide I will do. But God is gracious and, understanding of all of my self-knotted tethers. Nevertheless He calls me to let go of the pride of the balancing act and accept the humility of the yoke. The promise of rest in the midst of labor—of equilibrium—is too wonderful to resist.

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[1] J. Robert Clinton and Richard W. Clinton, “The Life cycle of a Leader” in Leaders on Leadership, edited by George Barna, 1997.

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