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Welcome to Father’s House

A Practical Guide for Taking the First-time Guest From the Door to the Core

By Arlene Patterson

As an ex-military wife, I have moved 24 times in 38 years of marriage. Prior to coming to Springfield, Missouri, in 1990, to serve as vice president of finance at Central Bible College, my husband, Bob, was a lieutenant colonel in the U.S. Army.

God birthed the ministry of Christian hospitality in my heart because I have always been the guest or newcomer. Our family has been in wonderful churches and military chapels all over the world where Christians took time to walk across the aisle, or meet us in the foyer or parking lot, or simply greet us with a big, heartwarming smile, and welcome us to their church.

I know what it is like to be lonely in a crowd. I know what it is like to walk into a new church and not know one person. I also know what it is like to move children and teenagers when they did not want to leave their established friends. I know what it is like to be in another country, far from family, and desperately needing the fellowship that is available in the local church family.

Because I had to rely on people to accept and love me in many congregations due to military transfers, I became sensitive to the ministry of hospitality in local churches. My husband and I have served in small churches, large churches, military chapels, and everything in between.In many churches, we were graciously received immediately. In others, we were made to feel we had to earn our acceptance. It was in one such church where we were attempting to earn our acceptance that God began to deal with me about the proper way to assimilate the guest or stranger into the church.

Now, years later, as I travel and hold seminars and workshops on Christian hospitality, I am amazed at what God is doing through this ministry. Hospitality is a ministry for people and ministered by laity. Most people in any congregation can be involved. This multifaceted ministry involves loving, caring, sensitive, and positive people. It should include young adults, college students, singles, middle-aged people, and senior adults.

Why do I place a high priority on this ministry? First, because it is scriptural and falls under the ministry of helps mentioned in 1 Corinthians 12:27,28 — “those able to help others.” In this passage the apostle Paul is speaking about the different gifts and facets of the body of Christ.

What is hospitality? Consider the following definitions:

• “Receiving and entertaining guests generously and kindly.”
• “Kindness and generosity to guests or strangers.”
• “Liberally receptive.”

The root word comes from two Greek words, philo, which is translated “loving” and zenos, which is translated “strangers.” These Greek words combined are philioxenias — “the love of strangers” (Zondervan’s Greek Lexicon).

Notice, it is not translated “the love of your best friends”; rather, “the love of strangers.” This same word is used in Hebrews 13:2: “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers for thereby some have entertained angels unawares” (KJV).

I grew up in a wonderful Christian home where good Southern hospitality reigned supreme. Mom and Dad would often bring strangers who were traveling and needed a place to stay for the night home from church.

They would let them stay in our guest bedroom, fix them a huge breakfast, and send them on their way the next morning. We never saw most of them again. This was truly “lodging of a stranger.” Today, many would consider this dangerous due to our demented society. I am grateful for a heritage that taught me to receive the strangers God sends into my life.

In two words in Romans 12:13, the apostle Paul commands Christians to “practice hospitality.” God desires that we practice hospitality, and He richly blesses us as we are obedient.

Let me share a few Scriptures on hospitality.

Bishops

• “A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality” (1 Timothy 3:2, KJV).

Widows

• “Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints’ feet” (1 Timothy 5:10, KJV).

Hospitality

• “Use hospitality one to another without grudging” (1 Peter 4:9, KJV).
• “Beloved, thou doest faithfully whatsoever thou doest to the brethren, and to strangers” (3 John 5, KJV).
• “We ought therefore to show hospitality to such men so that we may work together for the truth” (3 John 8).
• “For I was ahungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger and ye took me in: naked and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25:35,36,40, KJV).

As we reach out to others, we can readily observe the reciprocal grace of God working in our lives. I am grateful that God spoke to me many years ago about cheerfully and joyfully communicating Christian hospitality.

Once He has spoken to you about this ministry or starting a hospitality ministry, consider the following:

1. Make sure His is your heartbeat and the heartbeat of your staff and other leadership. This is a key element to ensure success.
2. Pray for a God-called leader. A highly motivated member of the laity is a great asset. While this ministry does not require that a member of the pastoral staff lead it, it should fall under the umbrella of one of the pastors on staff for accountability. The leader of this ministry needs to love people, be an organizer, motivator, and sensitive to the Spirit of God.
3. Have an organizational meeting with you and your leadership present. Invite everyone in the church to attend. Many times people in your congregation who are not involved in any other ministry will be eager to work in the hospitality ministry. Build enthusiasm by having a guest speaker or a hospitality coordinator from a church where this ministry is in place.

As you contemplate launching a hospitality ministry, ask the following questions:

1. Is our church growing?
2. Are we retaining members?
3. Do most of our first-time guests return for a second or third visit?
4. What are our church’s goals?
   1. Have the goals and mission statement been clearly defined?
   2. Is the majority of our church committed to achieving these goals?
   3. Are we willing to change to reach our desired goals?

When we consider the lovely worship facilities God has given to us in America, we should be mindful of our God-given responsibility to “Go out and compel them to come.” Once they attend our churches, we must make sure there is a reason for them to stay. We must assimilate the newcomers as quickly as possible, or we will lose them. I call this taking the guest from the door to the core.

People are drawn to a church where warmth and concern for their needs are shown. Remember: you never have a second chance to make a good first impression. Your first-time guests decide within the first 11 minutes if they will return to your church.

HOW DO YOU TAKE A FIRST-TIME GUEST FROM THE DOOR TO THE CORE?

A multifaceted hospitality ministry can include but is not limited to:

Parking lot attendants

These people greet guests as they get out of their cars, assist with umbrellas in inclement weather, and in some churches provide valet parking or a shuttle service.

Greeters, hosts, and hostesses

Greeters, hosts, and hostesses need to be at every door each service. A major difference between a greeter and a host or hostess is the greeter never leaves the door. The host or hostess stand several feet behind the greeter and takes guests where they need to go — the sanctuary, nursery, or a Sunday School class. They should always escort guests. Never give verbal directions and expect guests to find their own way. Walking with your guests is an excellent way to get to know them better.

Sanctuary door greeters

Sanctuary door greeters are necessary in case people were not greeted at the door when they entered the building. These greeters can also help the ushers find comfortable seats for guests or regular attendees. Some large churches have five or six doors leading into the sanctuary, making a sanctuary door greeter indispensable.

Ushers

The usher ministry can be challenging. Excellence and professionalism are important. We need dedicated, trained people who view this ministry as a crucial public relations role.

Dial-a-Visitor

Dial-a-Visitor is a telephone ministry. A trained member of your laity calls each local visitor within 24 hours of his or her visit. If possible, these calls should be made Sunday afternoon to invite the visitor back for the Sunday evening service. This makes a huge statement to the visitor who just left your church a few hours before. This is not a theological call — rather a “thank you for being our guest for worship this morning.”

Letters

On Monday a letter from the senior pastor is mailed to every guest that filled out the guest register. Enclosed in that letter are two items: First-Timer Response Card and a printed invitation to the Newcomers Class.

Newcomers Class

This is a 45-minute review of the church’s ministries. This includes Sunday School classes, service times, youth and children’s programs, and outreach ministries. The Newcomers Class is taught each Sunday as a Sunday School class. An announcement about the purpose and location of this class is mentioned in the bulletin each Sunday. Staff pastors, the senior pastor, and deacons drop by this class to meet guests. Refreshments are served and each guest receives a gift. The probability that these people will join the church rises considerably as a result of attending the class because they now:

• understand the mission of the church.
• know what Sunday School class or small group they want to visit.
• are personally introduced to many of the pastoral staff and leadership.

Several couples can alternate hosting this class so the same couple is not hosting every Sunday. Hosts need to be professional and have a good understanding of the facilities and the ministries of the church.

Coffee with the pastor

Coffee with the pastor is held once a quarter. This works well following a Sunday evening service. The entire church staff and deacons with their families share a time of food, fellowship, and introductions. This is a time for newcomers, staff, and the leadership of the church to get better acquainted. The hospitality ministry of the church is all about building relationships.

Hospitality center

The hospitality center should be manned before, during, and following services. Guests will gravitate to the center for information. Having a phone at the hospitality center is a plus and greatly aids the congregation when there is an emergency.

Dinners for eight

This ministry of hospitality is held in the homes of your regular attendees. Newcomers are invited to participate. The meetings can take place four-to-six times a year depending on the groups’ preferences.

Fifth Sunday fellowships

Fifth Sunday fellowships are held each month that has five Sundays and are hosted by a different adult Sunday School class each time. This gathering provides time for fellowship between regular members and newcomers. Remember, the regular, faithful members of your congregation need fellowship as much as the guests.

Family or benevolence meals

Meals are provided for families in bereavement, with serious illnesses, or who have had surgeries. This ministry to the entire church falls under the hospitality ministry.

OFFSPRINGS OF CHURCH HOSPITALITY

Family spotlight

Have a 5-minute segment on Sunday evenings to spotlight a family. Use new families, established families, and singles.

Hospitality coordinator

Have a hospitality coordinator for each adult Sunday School class. This frees the teacher from becoming a social director.

Operation Blessing

Operation Blessing is a ministry to help the needy, train workers to help with Convoy of Hope, a local mission, or a homeless shelter.

Designated seating

Designate areas in the sanctuary for hosts to sit and watch for newcomers. Choir members can scout the audience for new people while they sit in the choir loft and make a concentrated effort to greet them immediately following the service.

Everyone in the church needs to be taught to become a self-appointed greeter, and to not assume someone else greeted a newcomer. Your warm and sincere greeting to a person who is feeling down may be the catalyst that brings a victory into that life.

Welcome Wagon

A Welcome Wagon can be used for the church as a whole. The youth can take part in this ministry. Members of the Welcome Wagon take a small gift to the home of a newcomer. These gifts can be cookies, a devotional book, a telephone-address book, or a video of your church ministries. Include information in the packet about hospitals, doctors, dentists, grocery stores, drivers license information, a map of the city (free at the local chamber of commerce), and other information a new resident needs.

Adopt-a-Student

The Adopt-a-Student program works great in a college town. Springfield, Missouri, has seven colleges. Churches in this town try hard to be the students’ home away from home.

Adopt-a-Grandparent

I recently read about a church that has an Adopt-a-Grandparent program for senior adults who do not have family in town.

HOSPITALITY FOR A CHURCH NEVER ENDS IF WE ARE INTERESTED IN BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS.

Hospitality in your church starts with you and your leadership and a passion to reach and keep your community and world for Jesus.

When a congregation truly understands the meaning of Christian hospitality and puts it into action, it is amazing what this ministry will do to strengthen the body of Christ.

As you develop this ministry, your people will invite their friends, neighbors, and coworkers to come to church and experience what God is doing in your services. When these guests come, greet them in the parking lots, at the doors, sit with them in church, walk them to the altar, and pray with them for their needs and situations.

May the hospitality ministry of your church be filled with people who radiate the love of Jesus. And on each Lord’s Day, may we be present, willing, and trained to be servants for Him in His house so we can joyfully say to every person who enters, “Welcome to Father’s house.”

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